March 9. Near midnight…
I’m going home.
I’ve decided firmly to move back to Seattle and just tonight bought my plane ticket for July 31. (I have another 2 week visit there in May). It feels right, and I’m ready to think of Seattle as “home” again.
I miss my people and my communities. I miss my pastimes of sewing, cooking, gardening. I miss the activities that supported my health and fitness: regular gym time (!!), walking the Indian Trail, sleeping well and without such interruptions. I miss the sense of feeling rooted. I miss sleeping with the window open and walking on the street without holding my breath. I miss the ready fresh air. I miss green and water and private space.
My life was well-wrought, solid, hand-crafted, enviable. I shook it up, and now will return to a fresh slate, keeping, from before, what I most treasure, tweaking what I’m ready to loosen my grip on, and returning to my wonderful home with clear eyes and freshness. I will not simply pick up where I left off!
I will return to Seattle and be very deliberate, very conscious about what goes back into my house and into my days. I won’t be “starting over”, but rather honing, refining, sharpening the character of my life. And I have gathered a great wealth of sensorial texture to carry with me and flavor my direction. It all feels so delicious and full of possibility!
I want to return to Seattle and see my birthplace with the eyes of a newcomer. One friend has offered a walking tour of “100 Things I’ve Never Seen Before in Seattle.” I welcome the visit to “The Wall of Bubblegum,” among the other bizarre and heart-warming treasures on the list.
How will I integrate? I don’t know. I don’t need to know right now. I will have opportunities to express, and ponder, and share, and a greater purpose and sense of things will take shape as I settle back in.
In the meantime, I still have four and a half months here! That’s vastly more than most people will ever have in their lifetime! And I am going to milk this for everything possible. I intend to explore, gather, see, visit, travel, eat, meet, query, savor, learn and relish this great gift of time and place. I am going to fill…my…self…UP!
On Saturday I will attend a textile printing class in which we will use historic wooden printing blocks (1700s and 1800s) from the Zucchi Collection to print/create fabric for future projects! (I love the Zucchi designs from the late 1900s!) I am thrusting myself into design experiences as fodder for my future.
I am photographing with a fervor and dedication known only to the mad, the crazed, the off-the-wall. I want to bring as much of this home with me as possible in digital or tangible or ethereal form. This time will inspire more than I can imagine for the rest of my days, however long they may be.
I feel full and blessed and wondrous. To have “THIS”, when many never do, is beyond my understanding. The greatness is not lost on me; it burrows deep.
In coming here, I stated that: I wanted to live in a foreign country as an adult, with an adult’s perspective; I wanted to have relationships with people; and I wanted to learn another language. I have done all of that, and more than I can possibly describe.